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This shallow feeling


This feeling has been there with me for such a long time now. People call it self drowning concept, and I think it is rightly so. But I always assume that must be the situation with every aspiring writer. And that makes a lot of difference. That makes me feel better, not because others share my plight but simply because I share others'. And this makes me a part of struggling writers.

Often I feel empty. Whatever I am saying someone has already said it. I am just saying it differently. I have nothing new to write for others have already written scores and scores on the same. Maybe I might use a few fancy words here and there, but I have no new ideas although I claim to be a seeker.

I have no philosophy and even if I have one, it is still is immature and that makes my writing shallow. And most of the time, the feeling that I have nothing good to talk or write about, makes me hesitate. This is one of the causes for the block, as I evaluate it today. Who would like to listen to a man talking without any substance? Who has the time to spend reading a useless piece while he/she can do so much in that wasted 10 or 15 minutes?

But again there is a part of me that never quits, a part that pushes me up the ladder. And whenever I think I have something to say to people around, I am tempted to jot down a few ideas and if I feel more comfortable, I let others hear it or read it. Otherwise my conscience does not allow me to put anything on the public domain.

And speaking or writing is to find out faults. That's something only a few people enjoy. Others think we are making mountains out of molehills while others think we better shut up our mouth altogether because we don't understand anything. That makes us even more doubtful with ourselves. But even if a man thinks in the manner I do, the feeling of pride and acceptance do not leave me.

Seriously, I have nothing good to say, but when circumstances are on my side I just end up squiggling a few words.

Comments

  1. TongyalAugust 14, 2009 at 6:42 PM

    And believe me that few words that you jot down brings a big change. Well, so to say, it keeps me going and I have all you and your writings to thank for.

    I guess we are all great in our own small ways; afterall we are all born equal!

    Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ngawang PhuntshoAugust 14, 2009 at 7:41 PM

    Hey Tongyal, you know, that means a lot to me. And especially when I am going through a series of blocks. My writings haven't been coming out well lately and to top it, this 'shallow' feeling accompanies me. But as I said it before, even if I have a man on my side, I am happy. Thanks, man.

    Good evening.

    ReplyDelete
  3. KuenzaAugust 16, 2009 at 8:49 PM

    Only last evening at the beach, I was talking with a group of friends about the same dream I have.

    "...but I know it will never happen," I speak my fear. And a friend says, "It is only you who is stopping yourself." This struck me right through. I don't think I will care much about what others have to say; I will just carry on as I do now--noting down things in the notepad of my mobile even when I walk and see things that strike me. Maybe people have already written about what strikes me now but it doesn't matter. I will say it anyway. I don't think that makes me a stubborn, arrogant person.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kinga ChodenAugust 26, 2009 at 4:17 PM

    This Shallow Feeling - If it weren't for that, where would our stories come from?

    The trick is to write anything - redundant or not, substantial or not, with great feelings in them. That makes all the difference. :)

    ReplyDelete

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